My friend Katherine, aka opalcat
, died a few months ago, as I mentioned. Katherine was an active member of the SDMB, a message board connected to the Straight Dope column. She had been on that site for almost 20 years, I think.
SDMB is a HUGE community, it has thousands upon thousands of members, and inevitably, there are some who do not like each other. But, there are limits of behavior. As a result, some disgruntled members apparently started a website called the Snackpit, where people who have been banned from SDMB go to complain about people on SDMB who they don't like.
Katherine was a nerd, a woman, and a person who was very open and, more importantly, UNREPENTANT about the fact that she had a mental illness and had also been a stripper when in her early 20s. She was one of the first camgirls, when "camgirl" meant "a nerdy chick who has a webcam at her desk" rather than "woman who masturbates in front of a webcam for money".
You know something Katherine never was? Mean. She was never mean, she never tried to hurt anyone's feelings. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and sometimes other people hurt HER feelings, but she never lashed out in return. She had a pretty good sense of not giving a shit what haters had to say, but like any human, she wanted to be liked and to be treated well.
She also happened to be very kind. She was generous, and she was loyal. She had a sense of right and wrong. Many years ago, a mutual acquaintance of ours assaulted me, and then he and another mutual acquaintance spread rumors that it was my fault, because I "led him on." She immediately cut off all contact with both of them. She had the courage to say "That's not okay."
Anyway, there are some people in the world who just really hate people who don't wallow in shame or hide their feelings or be ashamed of stripping, or whatever else these people thought Katherine was supposed to do. So on their Snackpit, they have devoted their time to talking shit about her in sad, hateful ways. And these peopel recently took it upon themselves to swarm my website, where I had written a little post about Katherine.
These total strangers have decided that it is up to them to convince me that a)Katherine was a bad person or b) I am a bad person for being Katherine's friend. Initially there was some bullshit concern trolling, but I am not a moron: I knew who these people were, where they came from, and what their intentions were. Then they moved on to negging me, one of them saying "If you don't know what an attention whore she was, there's no point in even engaging with you any longer." This dude's intention, of course, was that I am supposed to melt from sadness and try to convince him that I *am* "worth engaging with", even though his entire fucking intention of engaging with me in the first place was to talk shit about my dead friend. (When dudes try to neg me, I just laugh at them, because seriously, that shit is so transparent.)
When I decided not to let any more of their comments through, they started barraging me with comments insulting me, insulting Katherine, and in fact blaming me for her death. Apparently, being friends with a mentally ill person means one is responsible for their mental illness and every decision they ever make. Who knew?
And now, since I am not letting the insulting comments through, they are leaving even MORE comments saying that it's because I have accepted responsibility for Katherine's death, I know it was my fault, blah blah blah.
I honestly don't understand why anyone spends their time on shit like this. How on earth can it really make anyone's life better to obsess over someone you don't know, even someone who is dead? What joy do they get from attacking her character? it is messed up and it also makes me think they must have very empty lives.