The Pain and the Brain
I am exhausted. My insurance company will not approve the provigil or nuvigil. Right now money is a little tight, so I can't afford to buy them from overseas at the moment.
I think maybe I am in less pain while being gluten-free, but I'm still in pain. Last night my knees especially were hurting, even though I had eaten no gluten. They hurt so bad I couldn't sleep well- I had a hard time falling asleep, I kept waking up during the night. And that is after taking my Tramadol ER. I am going to have to add some regular-release Tramadol on top of that again.
I'm ridiculously forgetful. I waste SO MUCH TIME every day trying to remember what I was in the middle of doing, or was about to do. I can't even remember all the stuff I wanted to post here. I am frequently confusing left and right (scary). And it's hard to keep up with school work, because I forget. Grr. I also mix up my words- the other day I tried to tell B that I needed to use the bathroom, and instead I told him I was thirsty. (total facepalm, right?) I haven't had this kind of brain dysfunction in years and frankly, it's scary and hateful.
Yesterday I was standing in the kitchen getting ready to make coffee, when suddenly I was overcome by dizziness, nausea, and vertigo. I had to make my wobbly way to the dining room and sit down. I took deep breaths and drank water for awhile and hoped it would pass. Eventually, it did. But I was terrified: I always thought of my orthostatic intolerance as an annoying inconvenience, but I never thought of it as dangerous; this year, though, a friend's daughter was diagnosed with OI-related cardiomyopathy. I hadn't even known that could happen! But now I'm scared it will happen to me.
For more than a week, I have been having a pain in my right arm. Whenever I clasp something with my right hand, I get a sharp, severe pain in my elbow. I noticed it when I lifted things with that hand- the heavier whatever I was lifting, the worse the pain. Experimentation showed that making a tight fist produced the same effect. I figure it is probably a pinched nerve (those are pretty common for me, as with many EDSers). Resting it helps, but hello I am mostly right-handed and it's pretty impossible for me to accomplish much of anything without grabbing things with my right hand.The dishwasher in our house, for example, is to the right of the sink. So loading it left-handed involves a lot of turning and bending.
I don't remember what else I wanted to write.