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When I first went GF, I was living in AZ. My health improved dramatically and I thought I would have more improvement over time.
I moved back to Houston in late 2014 and life went to shit, my health along with it. Although my ex was definitely a factor, and so was the mold in his house, I am starting to wonder if the climate here is part of the problem.
Note: the climate in AZ was very hard on me. The grit everywhere tore my skin, and a dry climate is also really hard on my skin. The heat was also hard on me- I don't want to move back there. Heat waves are known to worsen IBD.
So I wonder if I need to be in a place with a dry climate that isn't crazy hot OR super-cold, and also gets a lot of sun. Which is depressing, because there aren't a lot of dry, not hot climates that are liberal. And I don't want to move again. I want a break. I want to nest. And there are so many things I love about this climate and this place. and while I don't have many friends, the ones I have are here. But my past is also here, and I am learning that in order to truly heal from PTSD, I need to get rid of a lot of items from my past.
Opal really liked the dry climate too, she was so happy and furry in AZ!
My life is in a really strange place of flux and transition. So much sadness and anger and grief, but as a witch I sense so much possibility. If everything is falling apart, that's a chance to build something new, right?
It's all whirling around me right now. I hope the new life I build is wonderful.
This morning our cat Harley Quinn died. She appears to have died peacefully in her sleep. She was curled up in her little cat hammock, her own special spot, and did not appear to have struggled or had any pain. She did seem to have thrown up a little undigested food, which is worrisome because she had not eaten since Saturday morning. But she had no symptoms of anything wrong with her at all.
Harley was only about 3 years old and her death is so shocking.
Harley showed up at our house in late 2012 or early 2013. I was in AZ but R told me about her: "There is a pretty kitten who sits in the pecan tree all the time." He or someone started calling her "Nugget" and for a long time that was what she was called. She was completely feral at first but eventually became friendly and tame. She ran off the other feral cats from our house and started trying to come inside. If R left the door open, she would walk in and make herself at home. She had several kittens, as I have mentioned before. In early 2014 she was pregnant and we brought her inside permanently, with the intention of getting her spayed. She had kittens before we could, but we did get her spayed afterward and all the kittens were homed.
In 2014 I started to think that her name was Harley, but we didn't officially change it until 2015, I think. She really blossomed with the new name, she got excited when we called it and came running.
Harley also got really excited when she knew someone was about to pet her, she would wiggle from nose to butt and B dubbed this "the Harley shake."
She tricked us by being a short-haired cat for the first 2-ish years she hung around, and suddenly growing long hair in the late summer of 2014. I am not a person who wants to adopt a long-haired cat but by then she was already ours! We always planned to get her a lion cut to help control the hair.
Harley loved to snuggle and to be petted. She liked balls with bells inside. She even chased the ribbon toy sometimes. She had extremely long tufts of fur on her feet, like no cat I've ever seen. They stuck out from under her feet when she walked.
She was not super-bright, but she was learning, and she was so loving. She was so happy to just be in my lap.
I startd writing this comment this morning but now I am very tired and I am sure there are things I am forgetting to write about sweet Harley Quinn.
I think I'm finally done hemorrhaging. That was about 4 weeks of blood loss. No picnic. Mybe the new med is helping (Azulfidine) but it's really, really hard to take 1 pill 4 times a day. So hard. I am sure I am a bit anemic (my gums are pale) but I hope to be on the mend.
I'm down 6 pounds this year, which is nice. I'm shrinking in size much faster than I am shrinking in weight though. Today I found that my everyday pants are just too big to be decent in public anymore, so I tried on a bunch of pants I had that haven't fit me in years. The pants that are too big are size 16 Torrid. The pants that did not fit me before, but now fit are: a size 18 NYDJ, a size 16 NYDJ, and a size 16 no-brand jean. The size 18s from NYDJ are actually a bit loose at the waist.
I really miss making out with people at parties. It's fun. This is a reason I miss the HOD sometimes (another reason I miss the HOD is how easy it was to socialize there, it was so eady to meet people and be social.) I feel like most of my friends have become very settled down and I don't want to settle down. I want to keep partying.
We all made it through the flood okay. R and I spent Monday afternoon visiting friends and got home right before the flood rain started. The water came up and up and up the street. Around 4am I went out to the porch and saw that R's car (parked in the street) was about to take on water, so I woke him up. B was very sick so R moved both cars up the driveway.
By 5am our whole street was under water, from the bike trail to the end of the block. The water came up over the curb and over the sidewalks. Our back yard also flooded (which is a new thing that just started happening last year.) The house, though, is 2 feet off the ground in the main part and about 18" in the addition, so the house was fine. ASAP we are going to start adding topsoil to the back yard, gently sloped to direct water away from the house. The lot is higher than the street, but the back yard has settled a lot I guess.
R discovered yesterday that his car did take on a little water on the back floorboard. He said it smells terrible.
My family is ok, too. One of our friends' houses flooded. We've all been very lucky, really. Houston really invested in drainage after Allison.
Yeah this is like my third post in the last couple of hours. I feel like I've been putting off recording these things and it's good to get them all down.
This week B came home from a month away. The month he was gone was very hard for me because I was the ONLY person doing anything to clean this house. R left messes everywhere he went and hardly did anything to clean. I couldn't even keep up, let alone get ahead on organizing and etc.
B is home now and that's helping us to get back on track. Last week I did put R to work in the rest of the house so I could finally do something about my horribly messy bedroom. Did you know that dust and lint smell? They do. And now that I have dusted for the first time since last summer and also cleaned the floor, the room smells a lot better. It's embarrassing how bad it was, but I was trying so hard to keep up with the rest of the house that I never had time/energy to clean my own room. It is much better now, but still needs work.
The studio was also getting worse and worse. I decided that for craft storage I wanted to get an inexpensive chest of drawers. I looked on CL and swa very few that I liked, and they were all way out in the suburbs. B suggested we hit a few thrift stores first. We did so and found NO tall chest of drawers! It was weird. There were many wide ones, but no tall ones. We did, however, find an armoire we really liked and B talked me into purchasing it. Our plan has always been to buy a cheap armoire to make into a future sewing armoire. So for now we bought this one, and will use it for craft storage. In a few months when we make it into a sewing armoire, we will pick up an inexpensive chest of drawers then.
Also in organizational news, R got an Amazon gift card from work and we used it to buy a tall cabinet for the kitchen. It's about 72x23x11. It will go next to the stove and provide some much-needed cabinet space so we can get more organized in the kitchen. As it is we are bursting out. The cabinet arrived today but we need to assemble it, which will probably happen tomorrow. Tonight was devoted instead to clearing out space for the craft armoire to arrive.
Sunday was our local OTO body's "Family Day" event. We met up with spouses and kids for a picnic in the park. R, though, had to go pick up CC during the same time. Traffic was crazy, so I told him to leave me at the corner of the park and I could pull the cooler to a table.
Well, I underestimated how far I would have to walk, and apparently the endurance of my arms, because on Monday, I was in a LOT of pain. It got worse as the day went on. My arms, shoulders, and neck were hurting so bad it kept me awake most of the night (I can't take my generic tramadol anymore because it has gluten, so I was stuck trying less predictable remedies.)
I'm very bad at knowing my limits, but part of it is that I hate being "fragile" and having to be delicate with myself. I just want to get things done.